TRACKLIST

-THE SINGLES-
1. CAROLINE (LIVE DEMO)
2. HAVE A NICE DAY!
3. LEAVE
4. GOODBYE, MY GIRL (STUDIO SESSION)

-SELF-TITLED EP-
5. PESSIMIST
6. BIPOLAR (EP VERSION)
7. BEAUTIFUL PREDATOR
8. I DON'T NEED
9. THE PINES (EP VERSION)

-UNRELEASED DEMOS-
10. REALM DISTORTION (UNRELEASED DEMO)
11. CONSULT THE RAIN (UNRELEASED DEMO)
12. OKAY, I GET IT (UNRELEASED DEMO)

*ABOUT CD

We feel like business cards are kinda boring, so we decided to do something a little different. Below are the lyrics and song meanings to our songs, as well as music videos and other stuff! Thank you for checking us out and let us know what you think! Also sharing our music will help us get the word out!

1. CAROLINE (LIVE DEMO)

Some of these songs you will find are meant to go on an album called Chronic Fatigue. The album is a concept album that is a story about my life. When I write songs I usually write about how I feel in that moment, or what I am going through. Writing this way I found that it naturally connected in a lot of ways that could make a story. I love studying films and I wanted to incorporate film structure into the writing process.
What's funny about this album is that the writing is pretty much finished, but we plan to release a different album soon. The reason behind that is that I record all our music. It's just easier in the writing process but I am very much still learning. We originally planned on releasing Chronic Fatigue, but after working on it for years I decided that it was best to wait till the right time when I could get it recorded professionally. I just don't think I'm able to make it sound the way I want it to on my own.
Right now we currently plan on releasing an album that we feel okay recording ourselves. It's more of a heavier punk album and I believe that the indie recording sound works for it.

Caroline is the fourth track on Chronic Fatigue. The song is about a girl I dated in high school. She was literally perfect in every way, but we were just different on a very fundamental level. We tried, but it was a big deal that I don't think we could've gotten past.
As I get older, I feel like everyone keeps letting me down. I really struggle with feeling like people don't care about me like I care about them. Especially when it comes to relationships. I feel like I never receive the same energy that I give.
Looking back on that relationship gives me hope that I will find someone that actually cares. Caroline was a really great person. Like, I wear rose-colored glasses when it comes to how I see that relationship. I really needed it because it gives me hope that there are great people out there. And that's pretty much the meaning of the bridge. If I were to look back and find out I was wrong about her it would make me feel like there's no hope for a good future with someone. If I'm being honest, it just feels like a losing battle when it comes to love. It seems like everyone is only worried about themselves. I'm just at the point in my life where I'm not even trying anymore. Whatever happens, happens.

LYRICS

Pieces of me
Peace of mind
Wasting my time
I thought I had everything

In you, Caroline
Just when I thought I’d be fine

I wasted my time
Ripping heart strings all the time

Cause you can’t be mine

Lay me down
I want to rest my head
Dreams I had held onto
Blew away like sand
And it’s sad
I know
Yeah it’s sad

I have to go
And it’s sad
I know
Yeah it's sad

I have to go

Pieces of you I can’t take
But still I want to try
What I have are broken dreams
Of you, Caroline
I think that I’ll just pretend

That I will be fine
But as it does
Everything moves on
Enslaved to borrowed time

Lay me down
I want to rest my head
Dreams I had held onto
Blew away like sand
And it’s sad
I know
Yeah it’s sad

I have to go
And it’s sad
I know
Yeah it's sad

I have to go

Yeah I have to walk alone

So there I’ll find a perfect angel
If I keep you in my dreams
And if I try to change this angle
I’d pull apart the seems
My life would feel all unstable
And change everything
So there I’ll keep you in my fable
Safe from reality

2. HAVE A NICE DAY!

You might find a common pattern with a lot of these songs. It's another song about a girl. I feel like it's pretty straightforward. It's a punk song about regretting that you fell for someone. This is kinda just a stand-alone single. There are no plans to put it on an album or anything. The artwork is inspired by GTA because that is one of my favorite games even though it gets on my nerves.
Side note: I really suck at grammar so just ignore all the commas and bad spelling. I'm sorry Mrs. Munson, I know I let you down. :D

LYRICS

To believe you could take me away

Is the saddest thing that

I ever did think

Cause I was wrong to

Let you in

I was wrong you were

Never It

And to believe you could numb all the pain

Was the worst mistake that

I ever did make

Cause I was wrong to

Let you in

I was wrong you were

Never It

Can't believe this

A waste of my time

To try

To say goodbye

I think

I'll walk away

You make me

Feel Insane

To believe you could take me away

Is the saddest thing that

I ever did think

Cause I was wrong to

Let you in

I was wrong you were

Never It

And to believe you could numb all the pain

Was the worst mistake that

I ever did make

Cause I was wrong to

Let you in

I was wrong you were

Never It

Can't believe this

A waste of my time

To try

To say goodbye

I think

I'll walk away

You make me

Feel Insane

To believe you could take me away

Is the saddest thing that

I ever did think

Cause I was wrong to

Let you in

I was wrong you were

Never It

And to believe you could numb all the pain

Was the worst mistake that

I ever did make

Cause I was wrong to

Let you in

I was wrong you were

Never It

I can't remember

When I wasn't in the grasp of your eyes

But I can remember

Crying myself to sleep every night

So please remember

If you ever do change your mind

That I remember

Loving you was the worst part of my life

To believe you could take me away

Is the saddest thing that

I ever did think

Cause I was wrong to

Let you in

I was wrong you were

Never It

And to believe you could numb all the pain

Was the worst mistake that

I ever did make

Cause I was wrong to

Let you in

I was wrong you were

Never It

3. LEAVE

Literally, while I am writing this I found out that some of the discs do not have this song on them. If you didn't get this song on your disc I am really sorry.

This song went through three different drafts before it was finished. The instrumentals, for the most part, always stayed the same. I just couldn't make up my mind on what I wanted the lyrics to be until I was with my cousin Bayleigh. We were walking around Walmart and she was telling me about someone she knew that was in an abusive relationship. About how this one girl's boyfriend was just an asshole and controlled everything she did. Then just like that, I made my mind up about what I wanted the lyrics to be.

I've heard so many stories of women that are in an abusive relationship with someone. It's disgusting. If the person you are with doesn't appreciate you for who you are then they don't deserve you.

If you're in a relationship that has verbal or physical abuse, you need to understand you have more value than you realize. You shouldn't put up with it.

LYRICS

Are you all insecure
Do you think you need a shrink
Does he put it on himself
To label you a freak
Freak

He kills you with his words
He takes your relief
If he is the enemy
Who will set you free
Free

He shouldn't tell you how to feel
He shouldn't tell you what to think
In the end you're the one who moves
Come as you are or leave

All you all on your own
Do you plead insanity
Do you put it on yourself
To cry yourself to sleep
Sleep

Does he always make you cry
Are you too tired to try
You're killing me you know
Get fed up with the lies
Lies

He shouldn't tell you how to feel
He shouldn't tell you what to think
In the end you're the one who moves
Come as you are or leave

4. GOODBYE, MY GIRL (STUDIO SESSION)

Yet another song about a girl. So besides Caroline, every song that is about a girl is about the same girl. This goes for Have A Nice Day! I don't ever plan it, it just comes out that way.
This song is a letter written out to someone who doesn't know you love them. It's all the things you wish you could say to them. The cover is a journal entry I made a couple of years ago that makes me cringe now.
I wish I owned two microphones at that time because it's really hard to hear the vocals. In hindsight, I would've just recorded it like I recorded the other songs instead of just recording it with one microphone. I plan on making a new version of this song for the upcoming album. Also, I messed up the lyrics at the end and by then I recorded the song a lot of times. At that point, I just didn't care. These are probably some of my favorite lyrics I have ever written.
P.S. I also just realized that the journal entry on the cover is about how I was thinking about writing her a letter. I don't know, I just think that really works for the song even though it's embarrassing.

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LYRICS

so sad
oh no

I drift into insanity
you are alone, you're not with me
and I just thought that you need to know
that when you're right here next to me
your eyes, they shine a path for me
I want to tell you that you're my home
I want to tell you how I feel
but if I learn it wasn't real
I'll have to face this world all alone

please, my girl
don't rest until you see
my world
please don't take it from me
please, my girl
my girl

so sad
oh no

so sad

oh no

there's not much here left for me
without you girl I start to think
that all my days will be drained of hope
I feel as though you don't want me here
I guess I'll live in constant fear
I guess that I'll just never know
the hardest part of loving you
is simply that I'm losing you
and I'm just too afraid to die alone

please, my girl
don't rest until you see
my world
please don't take it from me
please, my girl
my girl

so sad
oh no

so sad

oh no

I'm tripping over my heartstrings
and riddles here that make me think
that you might be all mine to hold
I can't sleep within these bones
they break before I gain control
(this same old feeling's getting old)
in this world there's no place for me
and now i feel my heart sink
this same old feeling's getting old

goodbye, my girl
you never really cared
my girl
it took me long enough
my girl
so goodbye, bye
goodbye, bye

goodbye, bye

5. PESSIMIST

The next five tracks are from the self-titled EP released back in 2021. With all of our releases, with singles as the exception, I plan on having a story or a theme behind them. With this EP the theme is just about the depravity of the human condition, whether that is myself or a whole town. The inside of the physical copy I plan on releasing in the future has a bunch of pictures of an abandoned school that me and my friends would visit. I feel like the artwork inside kinda reflects the theme of the EP. Just how worn out the world feels to me.
The cover is a picture I took of my dog in middle school. The original looked a little different but I always told myself I would use this picture as a cover for a release. I'm really proud to say that I've been able to make it happen! I like covers that really stick out. I want to make album art that people won't forget.
The song Pessimist is about feeling like you are a failure, that you mess up everything you get your hands on. I notice that I take failure very hard. I'm very bad about pushing people away when I feel like I've let them down.
The song has had a ton of different titles until my friend, not my cousin, Baylee brought up the word pessimist. My vocabulary is very limited so I asked her what it meant and I felt like it fit the song really well.
I remember this being one of the songs on the EP that I felt like I just sucked at. I kept getting frustrated to the point of literally bawling my eyes out. I just thought it was so ironic that I was making a song about not being good enough and I didn't even feel good enough to make the song. In the end, it obviously came together and I've had some people tell me that this is their favorite song on the EP. So it all worked out in the end.

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CLICK HERE TO GET A PHYSICAL COPY!

LYRICS

Hey!
I'll mess it up I swear
Hey!
I'll make a point of it
Hey!
I'll make good use of it

Hang tight
Let me tie my noose
Everything I am
Always gonna lose
Gonna let you down
Gonna tie a noose
Everything I am
Always gonna lose

I know, I know
It's sad, I know
That I do the things that hurt you
So goodbye

Give me something good
And I'll mess it up
I never feel like I should
I'll never be enough

Give me something good
And I'll mess it up
I never feel like I should
I'll never be enough

Hey!
I'll mess it up I swear
Hey!
I'll make a point of it
Hey!
I'll make good use of it

Hang tight
Let me tie my noose
Everything I am
Always gonna lose
Gonna let you down
Gonna tie a noose
Everything I am
Always gonna lose

I know, I know
It's sad, I know
That I do the things that hurt you
So goodbye

Give me something good
And I'll mess it up
I never feel like I should
I'll never be enough

Give me something good
And I'll mess it up
I never feel like I should
I'll never be enough

6. BIPOLAR (EP VERSION)

This is the second version of the song Bipolar. The first is on our Bandcamp page, but I had to remove it from the other streaming services because I HATE it. When I released the original I was super proud of it, but now it embarrasses me. What I don't like about it is that it was before I learned how to scream so it sounds like shit.
This song is about how I never feel the same way and I never make my mind up about anything. It drives me insane that I change so drastically so much. I've never have been diagnosed bipolar but I honestly wouldn't be surprised if I was.

LYRICS

I've been feeling bad
I've been feeling good
Can't make up my mind
Like I think I should
Been back and forth
And it's killing me
I'm breaking down
No sign of relief

You could use this new prescription
You could use this new medication
Try it out and you will see
You'll feel better, you will see

Back and forth, it's stressing me
It's hard enough when I can hardly see
Right or wrong
There's no right for me
I only see my life as a tragedy

Play it down like a pharisee
Who I think I am there's no clarity
All these thoughts are killing me
Cause It's never enough to hate everything

I get so sick
Sick

I've been feeling bad
I've been feeling good
Can't make up my mind
Like I think I should
Been back and forth
And it's killing me
I'm breaking down
No sign of relief

Everything that I just hate
Is exactly what I am
Every time that I feel fake
It's exactly what I am
Every bit of my will just breaks
And it's screaming out that I can't
There's no way that I can change
It takes more strength than I have
More strength than I have

Places I want to go
I never wanna stay
All the faces I never show
Make me feel like I'm going insane
I never feel like I'm at home
I always wanna change
I need complacency
Cause I'm going every other which way
I'm going every other which way
I'm going every other which way

I've been feeling bad
I've been feeling good
Can't make up my mind
Like I think I should
Been back and forth
And it's killing me
I'm breaking down
No sign of relief

We filmed this music video in a hotel that is claimed to be haunted in downtown Alexandria, Louisiana. I use to deliver pizzas around that area and it reminded me of The Shining so I knew I had to film a music video there!

7. BEAUTIFUL PREDATOR

This song started off being a voice memo on my phone of just me singing the chorus. I held on to it for a couple of years. It almost didn't make it on the EP because I had a really hard time singing the breakdown. I took a break from it for a little bit and then came back to it and could magically sing it without any problems. To this day I still don't know what I was doing wrong. It seems like that's how a lot of my songs work in the writing and recording process. One day I can't perform them at all and then all of a sudden it falls into place. I don't know, it felt like it was meant to happen.
The song started off as me writing about the same girl again but I wanted to change it up and write a story outside myself. I feel like a lot of times girls, obviously not all of them, can use their looks to get what they want out of someone. The song is basically about someone being used for their attention and then just dropped. They go through grief with a bunch of different emotions. I really like how the song almost feels like a bunch of different songs thrown into one.
We also have a song called Cassette Tapes that is a totally different vibe, but I look at it as part two of this song. Cassette Tapes was a working title for it but I kept it because I feel like using people to get what you want out of them should become outdated like cassette tapes. It's kinda a stretch but hey, I can do what I want.

LYRICS

Beautiful predator
Play with me and tear out my heart
Play with me and tear me apart

I wanna hate you
But I think I love you
Too much for my good
Send me help
I'm done

I think that I need to breathe
All this hurt is screaming at me
From the sound of
Everything collapsing
I think that I need to see
All these things you took right from me
I want to tear your world apart
Like you tore mine

Beautiful predator
Play with me and tear out my heart
Play with me and tear me apart

I wanna hate you
But I think I love you
Too much for my good
Send me help
I'm done

The thought of you won't let me be
So please tread lightly
When you walk over me

I'm throwing rocks at your window
Thinking that you might see
And maybe you'd want me
Like I want you badly

Beautiful predator
Play with me and tear out my heart
Play with me and tear me apart

How do I get to where you're standing
Where you're standing
Where you're standing
How do I get to where you're standing
Where you're standing
Where you're standing
How do I get to where you're standing
Where you're standing
Where you're standing
How do I get to where you're standing
Where you're standing
Where you're stand...

You look so precious in all your fancy clothes
What's it like?
You play the martyr, play the victim
What's it like?
You feel so special in all your fancy clothes
What's it like?
Play the martyr, play the victim
What's it like?

What's it like?
What's it like?
What's it like?

8. I DON'T NEED

This is another straightforward song. It is about not needing anyone's opinions and guidelines for how to live your own life. I feel like this transitions perfectly to the next song on the EP, it feels like they go hand and hand. I didn't have any plans for this song at first, I was just writing to write and I really liked it. I kept the vocals from the demo and rerecorded the guitar and added bass. It's definitely a punk song. I really like punk music because you don't have to be anything. It makes me feel free to sing however I want. I struggle with trying to be perfect and when I sing I miss a lot of notes so it makes me feel like I suck. I feel like with punk music it's a strength to miss notes and just not care. I feel like there will always be punk aspects in my music. I don't want to use autotune or even be perfect. I just want to be myself and be honest. Being perfect is overrated and boring.

LYRICS

I don't need
Anything at all
I don't need
All your opinions
I don't need
Anything from you
I don't need
Anything from you

I don't need

Your constant confusion
I don't need

All your thoughts in my head
I don't need

Your self awareness
I don't need
I don't need you

I don't need
Anything at all
I don't need
Anything
I don't need
Absolution
I don't need

I don't need

Your constant confusion
I don't need

All your thoughts in my head
I don't need

Your self awareness
I don't need
I don't need you

I don't need
Anything at all
I don't need
All your opinions
I don't need
Anything from you
I don't need
Anything from you

I don't need

Your constant confusion
I don't need

All your thoughts in my head
I don't need

Your self awareness
I don't need
I don't need you

9. THE PINES (EP VERSION)

I found that this is one of those songs that makes a lot of people mad, which just adds to the meaning behind the song even more. I currently live in a small town called Olla. I feel like there's nothing here and this town is a dead end. There are barely any opportunities. You either work at a lumber mill, oil rig, or a low-paying job at a grocery store. It feels like this town is more of a comfortable coffin than a place to start your life. While I'm young I want to experience things and meet new people. I feel like there is a specific mindset you are supposed to have here and if you aren't a super conservative, country, trump supporting, hard-core baptist Christian then you don't belong. I think there is more to life than living in a box that people's grandfathers built. I feel like this town destroys dreams and traps you in it. Obviously, not everyone is miserable here and not everyone is bad, but I can't shake the feeling of going nowhere here. It definitely bothers me getting heat for this song but I feel like it gives people a voice that feel stuck here. It's really hard to climb your way out of here.

LYRICS

Way down, way down
Where you're lost in the pines
Where you go, where you go
When you're done with your life
And there you sit, there you sit
And you lay down and die
Never go, never know
What anything's like

Way down, way down

Where you're lost in the pines

Where you go, where you go

When you're done with your life

And there you sit, there you sit

And you lay down and die

Never go, never know

What anything's like

I feel so stuck here

I could lay down and die

Just leave me alone

While I sit here and die

What they don't understand is that there's more outside
Than this forgotten town where they play out their lives

Way down, way down
Where you're lost in the pines
Where you go, where you go
When you're done with your life
And there you sit, there you sit
And you lay down and die
Never go, never know
What anything's like

Way down, way down
Where you're lost in the pines
Where you go, where you go
When you're done with your life
And there you sit, there you sit
And you lay down and die
Never go, never know
What anything's like

You just lay down and die
Just lay down and die

I feel so stuck here
I could sit down and die
Just leave me alone
While I sit here and die

I feel so overwhelmed I could sit here and cry
Gonna be trapped here till the day that I die

Way down, way down
Where you're lost in the pines
Where you go, where you go
When you're done with your life
And there you sit, there you sit
And you lay down and die
Never go, never know
What anything's like

Way down, way down
Where you're lost in the pines
Where you go, where you go
When you're done with your life
And there you sit, there you sit
And you lay down and die
Never go, never know
What anything's like

You just lay down and die

Lay down and die

You lay down and die

Lay down and die

Die

CLICK HERE TO GET "THE PINES" MECH!

10. REALM DISTORTION (UNRELEASED DEMO)

This is another demo of a song that will go on Chronic Fatigue. The song is about not knowing if God is talking to you or if you are making stuff up in your head. I struggle with anxiety and I find a lot of relief in my faith, but I also find that I look at everything as a sign and put more meaning into things than what is actually there. It causes me to run around in circles a lot. Now it doesn't make me doubt my faith it just makes me realize I have a lot of growing to do when it comes to how I perceive the world around me. The title Realm Distortion comes from a verse where Paul is talking about how our understanding of things is like looking through a dirty mirror. It feels like trying to listen to what God is saying is like tuning into a radio station with a ton of static and trying to make out what is being said.
The cover art is what I plan on using for the actual album. If I could summarize the concept of the album it would be what my girlfriend at college told me. "Sometimes you have to have faith that people love you." I've always struggled with feeling that I wasn't loved, even if people proved that time and time again. I feel like this album will help a lot of people that struggle with the same feelings. I believe a lot of the negative stuff I think isn't reality and that I have to hang on to the truth despite how I feel.

LYRICS

All my life I've made bad choices

Been held down by unseen forces

Always feels like God ignores us

Heavy head from realm distortion

There is nothing left to lose

Heavy clouds always ensue

Heavy thoughts drive me insane

Always torment in my brain

Hold it in with everything

Always have to deal with pain

There is nothing left to lose

Heavy clouds always ensue

Yeah

I carry shit cause I can't let go

All the while my mind erodes

Hold it in, my obsession grows

And pieces of my heart'll emplode

It's all a trick right in my brain

It's only thoughts that cause me pain

Just don't let in my head

Anxiety comes when attention's fed

If I hold the truth in my head

I'll never have to feel this dread

It's all a trick right in my brain

It's only thoughts that cause me pain

Yeah

All my life it seems has always been a tradegy within

When I reach for what I've always longed for

It seems to wear me thin

Leave it all behind me

I long to see this mend

But it's so hard to find my way with all this

Distortion in my head, yeah

All my life I've made bad choices

Been held down by unseen forces

Always feels like God ignores us

Heavy head from realm distortion

Yeah

11. CONSULT THE RAIN (UNRELEASED DEMO)

This song also will be on Chronic Fatigue. The title of the album just means being constantly worn out from searching to be loved. In the album, rain becomes a constant theme, symbolizing the feeling of sadness that washes and soaks everything. At this point in the story I feel broken down and I feel like that hopeless feeling has won and taken over. I've struggled with suicidal thoughts for years. For me, it was when I went off to college. Growing up I had so much hope for my future and when I got there I realized just how disappointing life can be. Since then I had thoughts every single day. It would get to the point it was all I could think about. It wasn't that I really wanted to die, it was just that everything I wanted in life seemed like it never would happen, that my life was just a big disappointment. At the beginning of the song, I added a clip from an old family tape of when I was first born and my family got to meet me. To me that is one of the most emotional parts of the whole album cause deep down I want to have that kind of relationship with my family and others, where we are just happy to be around each other. In my head, I've struggled with feeling like I'm not that close to anyone and it has caused me to become angry. I feel like this album for me is a reminder to let go of my anger. Lately, I've been in a lot better place. Even though it is a battle that comes back at times I have a lot more hope for the future with my band. I feel like I am here for a reason and I want other people to feel the same.

When it comes to suicidal thoughts everyone has made it extremely uncomfortable to talk about. I actually feel like they are very normal. There is nothing crazy about wanting to give up, you aren't wrong for thinking that way, sometimes it's not something that you can control. What makes a difference is recognizing those thoughts and seeing what you can do to improve your life. For me it was always feeling like no one loved me and that I didn't have a purpose. What has helped me is pursuing something that has given my life meaning and honestly just finding out a lot of what has bothered me has just been insecurities and not even what's really happening. Life can definitely suck at times but that's only one part of the whole picture. It's just for a time.

LYRICS

I thought the rain would go away

And then I'd laugh and be okay

But it never seemed to get better

So I wore the rain like a sweater

I thought my apathy made me strong

But once again I find I was wrong

So I sit and wait in the weather

Waiting for my life to get better

Cause it's never enough

To wash my hope

And it's never enough

To feel all alone

I watch the rain take it's toll

And wash away all that I've known

I wish I had someone to weather

Weather the storm and wait together

But I feel so out of place

I carry all my hurt and shame

Innocence made light like a feather

But now I'm older I'm afraid I won't get better

Cause it's never enough

To was my hope

And it's never enough

To feel all alone

Cause it's never enough

To wash my hope

And it's never enough

To feel all alone

I try to distract myself from it all

Can't deny how I feel so small

The rain it falls for what seems like forever

It's the only part of me that I can't sever

Consult the rain as she falls

To ask her why but she don't care at all

I get no response and the rain still hovers

There's no hope for me I discover

Cause it's never enough

To was my hope

And it's never enough

To feel all alone

Cause it's never enough

To wash my hope

And it's never enough

To feel all alone

I've been looking for my

Place under the sun

Dreams I've held onto

Leave me all undone

If it ever does transpire

Past my expiration date

Don't take your time and wait

Because I'm already gone

And if you ever do take heart

In all the things I say

I've made my mind dont wait

Because I'm already gone

I'm already gone

12. OKAY, I GET IT (UNRELEASED DEMO)

This last song is going on the upcoming. We are calling it Negative Nancy. Since I struggle with suicidal thoughts I wanted to work on an album that makes gives people a voice and makes them want to keep going. The cover shown here is a concept I drew. I like Garbage Pail Kids and I wanted to make one of my own for the cover.
The song itself is basically the same as I Don't Need. I find myself struggling with what other people think of me and as time progresses I find that I'm getting over it because it doesn't matter.